I just realized that when someone tells you, “Uy, baka nakakaistorbo ako sa ‘yo, ha?,” that means at some point in their lives they have kept on waiting. Lagi silang naghahabol sa oras ng iba. They are always taken for granted, or worse, lagi silang nasasabihan ng “Busy ako ngayon,” “‘Wag kang magulo,” or “Istorbo ka.” So, if someone keeps on telling you “Baka nakakaistorbo ako,” please make them feel that they’re also special. That they’re not a disturbance. We’ll appreciate it a lot. 🙂
Justin T. Buenagua
The Fear of Rejection
I cannot fully express how much this one is true. I never had the chance to share this quote so I’m putting it here now. By sharing this, I hope others would see the value or the worth of others.
In addition to what the author wrote, I believe people who say these words have been rejected by their peers. It’s also partly because they don’t want to feel like an inconvenience. They respect and value the time of the person asked and they don’t want to be a nuisance. Worse, they have been bullied all their lives and would rather remain invisible. That rejection can deeply damage the person’s psyche and they tend to lose self-confidence.
Understand that for us who are like this, it is literally heart-breaking or gut-wrenching to approach anyone for a question or a favor especially when the one asked is someone you know. Asking for directions is one thing but for personal questions or requests, it feels like you’re bargaining with the devil. The anxiety that leads to rejection becomes unbearable so we tend to lighten the ‘blow’ by ‘excusing’ yourself. Or even making ourselves an excuse: “Sorry for existing.”
The next time someone like this approaches you, please acknowledge them and answer with a brief reply. It doesn’t take much energy and it would be most appreciated. Please be kind, always.
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