The “Let Them Theory” is a self-help philosophy that encourages people to let go of things that they cannot control. The theory was popularized by Mel Robbins, a motivational speaker and author. Robbins argues that by letting go of things that we cannot control, we can free up our energy and focus on the things that we can control. This can lead to a more positive and productive outlook on life.
Mel Robbins conceptualized the “Let Them Theory” in 2017. She wrote a book about it called “The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, One Second at a Time.” The book became a New York Times bestseller.

Robbins argues that the “Let Them Theory” can be applied to any area of life. She says that it can help people to lose weight, get out of debt, and achieve their goals. She also says that it can help people to deal with stress, anxiety, and depression.
The “Let Them Theory” is based on the idea that we cannot control everything that happens to us. This is a difficult concept to accept, but it is important to remember that we are not responsible for the actions or choices of others. We can only control our own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
When we try to control things that we cannot control, we often end up feeling stressed, anxious, and frustrated. This is because we are expending energy on something that is ultimately out of our hands. Instead of trying to control things that we cannot control, we can choose to let go and focus on the things that we can control.
This does not mean that we should not take action when necessary. It simply means that we should not waste our time and energy on things that are beyond our control. When we let go of things that we cannot control, we free up our energy to focus on the things that we can control. This can lead to a more positive and productive outlook on life.
Here are some tips for letting go:
- Identify the things that you cannot control.
- Accept that you cannot control these things.
- Focus on the things that you can control.
- Take action on the things that you can control.
- Let go of the things that you cannot control.
Letting go is not always easy, but it is a necessary step in living a happier and more productive life.
Here are some examples of how the “Let Them Theory” can be applied to everyday life:
- You are stuck in traffic. You cannot control the other drivers on the road, so you choose to let go of your anger and frustration. Instead, you focus on listening to music or a podcast.
- You are waiting in line at the grocery store. You cannot control how long the line is, so you choose to let go of your impatience. Instead, you take a deep breath and remind yourself that it is not worth getting upset over something that you cannot control.
- You are having a disagreement with your spouse. You cannot control your spouse’s actions or words, so you choose to let go of your anger and resentment. Instead, you focus on listening to your spouse’s point of view and trying to find a solution that works for both of you.
Letting go is a skill that takes practice. The more you practice, the easier it will become. And the more you let go, the happier and more productive you will be.

Here are some additional benefits of letting go:
- Reduced stress and anxiety
- Increased focus and productivity
- Improved relationships
- Greater happiness and peace of mind
If you are struggling to let go of something, here are some things that you can do:
- Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling.
- Write down your thoughts and feelings.
- Practice deep breathing or meditation.
- Visualize yourself letting go of the thing that is bothering you.
Similarities to other philosophies
The “Let Them Theory” is similar to a number of philosophies, including Stoicism, Buddhism, and Taoism.
Stoicism is a philosophy that teaches that people should accept what they cannot change and focus on what they can control.
Buddhism is a philosophy that teaches that suffering is caused by attachment to things that are impermanent.
Taoism is a philosophy that teaches that the way of nature is to flow with the current, rather than trying to control it.
All of these philosophies share the idea that we should not waste our time and energy on things that we cannot control. Instead, we should focus on the things that we can control and let go of the things that we cannot.
Here are some quotes from these philosophies that are similar to the “Let Them Theory”:
“The only thing that is constant is change.” – Heraclitus (Stoic philosopher)
“The only way to happiness is to let go of the things that make you unhappy.” – Buddha (Buddhist monk)
“The best way to deal with an unchangeable situation is to accept it.” – Lao Tzu (Taoist philosopher)
Letting go is a process
The “Let Them Theory” is a simple but powerful philosophy that can help us to live happier and more productive lives. By letting go of the things that we cannot control, we can free up our energy to focus on the things that we can control. This can lead to a more positive and fulfilling outlook on life.
Remember, letting go is a process. It takes time and effort. But it is worth it. When you let go, you free up your energy to focus on the things that are important to you. You can live a happier, more productive, and more fulfilling life.
Watch Mel Robbins talk about the Let Them Theory below:
Notes: Generated by Bard, a large language model from Google AI. Additional content by the author.
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