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Remembering Julio

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A transcript of my (Special Episode) Remembering Julio podcast, dated May 25, 2020.


Welcome to the House of B, this is Gabe. This is a special episode ’cause I’m going to talk about someone that has been part of my 2019.

I just heard that Julio passed away last, I think Friday, or I think it was last Saturday, March 23*. There’s a lot of things that I want to talk about him.

Actually, una kong nakausap si Julio sa Growlr app. From there, we transferred to Messenger and then eventually we became Facebook friends.

Anyway, uhm, Luis told me that he passed away last Saturday and I was actually nonchalant about it.

Uhm, I first met Julio sa, I think mixer ng Chopsuey Improv where nag-perform ang Bimpo and he was there. We were already messaging each other sa Messenger before. Ayun, he’s a sweet but persistent kind of person. Uhm, kagagaling ko lang rin sa, uhm, parang hiwalayan noon with my ex and Julio was a welcome change.

Ayun, makulit siya. Maboka. He’s kinda sweet. Sabi pa niya sa akin bibigyan niya ako ng flowers doon sa show. Which I told him to do kasi dyahe naman. He’s cute, he’s tall. And then, eventually, I decided to meet him sa may Jollibee sa Virra Mall*. Ah, I think it was a Sunday, kasi ang daming tao at the same time both of us were free. Kumain lang kami doon sa may Jollibee doon sa may bandang likod.

Ayun, kwentuhan, we got to know each other better. He’s sweet, no? And he’s a, uh, he also plays Magic pala and he likes, uh, computer games, online games, ganyan. So, in that aspect medyo nagkasundo din naman kami. So, were messaging each other. One day at a time, or day, each, every day after that. And he told me that he wanted to hug me, ganyan-ganyan.

At one point, siguro gusto niya manligaw. And, I think, na-entertain naman ako (chuckles). But, uhm. Nagkasakit kasi ako for the whole month of September or at least one month nung September and nung October. I was bedridden, and I can’t go out kasi, uh, everything was masakit – ulo ko, throat ko, and my chest. And he was sweet kasi he offered na he wanted to visit me and send me food, ganyan. But I had to decline kasi, to be honest, hindi ako sanay na may nag-aalaga sa akin ng ganun.

Looking back, sana pala tinanggap ko. (Chuckles) But, uhm, yon.

It wasn’t that I was pushing him away. Ah, gusto ko lang, ah, I was just wary because, ‘yun nga, ayoko lang masaktan lang muna. And then, uh, ayun. He wanted to visit me sa Timog, tapos hindi siya pumunta ng party ng Bigger Manila. Actually, that was a surprise kasi he had friends there tas biglang hindi siya umattend so ayun, messaging lang.

[Clears throat]

Uh, the the the. May nagbago yung dynamics namin, kasi there was one weekend where he didn’t message me for three days, Friday to Sunday. And, I had a hunch na he had a partner. Uh, well he confirmed it and then ayun nga, I had to stay away. I had to step back and just treat him as a friend, although he was really pushy and aggressive na manligaw, and uhm, maging kami and do it. I didn’t know the dynamics with his partner but hindi ko siya ma-open up or hindi ko ma-confirm sa kanya kung anong status nila kasi everytime I ask, lagi niyang nililihis yung conversation. Which was fine, so sabi ko na lang, “O sige, I’ll treat you as a friend na lang.”

Sa loob-loob ko, I think that would be better?

And then, nung November we met each other uli and I treated him for dinner. Kasi he wanted, really wanted to see me, ganyan, and feeling ko lagi siyang nag-e-effort pag may events kami. So, sabi ko, sige let’s eat. So kumain kami sa Luk Yuen tapos at that time, I also wanted to buy a powerbank kasi my other powerbank was failing. So, I bought one, and we found out na hindi bagay yung cable niya with my phone. So what he did was he bought me a type C connector.

Eh, uh, wala lang. Na-appreciate ko yun, kasi bihira lang naman yung stranger na ganon or friend na ganon na nagbibigay sa akin ng something, so, something na special, ganyan.

And then, uhm, when we parted sa may building C sa may harap ng EDSA ng Megamall, he wanted to kiss me but I had him kiss my, kiss my cheeks instead kasi nakakahiya sa mga tao. Ayun, we parted ways.

And then, uhm, December, January, and then. Nung January medyo, to be honest, nagkaroon kami ng falling out. Kasi nga, he wanted, he really wanted us to do it. He wanted us to be a couple, pero ang problem ko was he had a partner. So, I had to say no. And ,twice, yun, and, everytime parang he, nagsabi siya ng “Rejected,” with a sad face.

Medyo masakit din pero parang at that time, parang, teka lang. Ano ba ‘tong ginagawa ko? So I had, I had to, uh, masakit but I had to cut him off muna. Uhm, and then itong, uh, COVID-19, ECQ came, and then parang I wanted to say hello. Pero medyo cold siya sa akin. I did my best to be friendly. Ah, gusto kong maging okay kami, but parang ano, uh, probably nasaktan ko siya or something. Pero hindi dapat, di ba? Kasi nga, di ba?

Anyway, uh, he, uh, he wanted. Sabi niya sa akin gusto niya kalimutan yung nakaraan, so sabi ko, “Sige.” Uh, and I want, ako, personally, gusto ko mag-start ng something new. Apparently, ayaw niya (chuckles), uhm. I, I was just messaging him then hindi siya nagreply for a few days, so sabi ko, “Huh, that’s it. Probably it’s time to stop and let go.” So, I did, hindi na ako nag-reply. Ayun, uh.

Ngayon, he’s gone. Uh, he, for me he’s just a memory. I’ve saved our Facebook conversation, uhm. Nakita ko pa rin yung mga pictures niya, and video, and uhm, audio na pinadala namin with each other. Ayun, nakaka-miss din. Julio was a big part of 2019 and kinda sad that he’s already gone. It’s another young person gone at the time of his youth.

I will always remember Julio being one of the people who saved me last year. I hope that he’s in a better place. And I’m going to miss him, very, very much.

Thanks, Julio, uhm. See you when I see you, and I will miss you. Uhm, and I will always, always remember you. Bye.


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